For as long as I can remember I have felt and understood things at far deeper level than would seem normal. If you were to ask my parents they will tell you that I was extremely kind, even as a young child. They would go on to tell you how I would give away my last sweet to leave none for myself to ensure no one was left out. This is the way I was born, with an ability to put myself in someone elses shoes and anticipate how they will feel. Unbeknown to those around me I have a great awareness of people’s needs, wants and feelings. It can be incredibly useful at times but it can also be extremely overwhelming and frustrating.
I only recently stuck a label on my ability and it was liberating. For a long time I just figured I was just super sensitive and would try to squash my feelings down; needless to say it did not end well. Below is the brief story which pushed me to accept that I am not normal in this area, and forced me to come to some sort of acceptance.
A dear friend of mine who I had known for around 3 years spilt from her fiancé. They had been together 10 years when he left her for someone half her age; it broke her heart. It was an awful time, sending shock waves starting with her before rippling out to those who were closest to the couple. I was one of these people. I was supported my friend through this most difficult time of her life, she was at the centre of this storm and I tried my best to help her through this. However, behind closed doors the feelings of betrayal, hurt and upset were overwhelming. I felt as it I was being crushed and I could not understand what was going on. My partner at the time dismissed my feelings as he could not understand. I felt stupid and ashamed to be so incredibly effected by something that had little to do with me.
This brought to my attention that the way I was feeling was not normal. The reaction alone of my partner made me realise I was empathizing on a totally different level. Was there something wrong with me? In short the answer is no.
I discovered that I was an Empath. I did not believe these were real up until that point and I had related it with Deanna Troi from Star Trek. However my life leading up to this point could be explained by that one word. Armed with this new knowledge I endeavoured to protect myself, and here are a few examples of what I do.
As an Empath the energy of those around me can often become entangled with my own. A lot if the time I got confused with what feelings were my own and those that didn’t belong to me. For this I use meditation; during this I visualise a gold aura around me which is being fed from my inner self. Imagine a gold light glowing from within, it builds to fed and reinforce the gold barrier surrounding your body. I even have a barrier around my room and house, all being charged from my inner light. This protects my space and reflects any negative energy back to who it belongs too.
If I feel a particular experience or energy is weighing me down, I will complete a cleansing of my space. This is common practice for most witches, I use Sage is known to dispel negative energy. Burn is over a bowl making sure to reach all corners. I often recite my intentions while completing this, I will seal all windows and doors by drawing a pentagram in the air in front with the sage. And I will complete the ritual by saging myself for good measure.
These are my two main methods however I also use crystals and talismans. I also require time by myself to recharge, this is espically nessasary when joining larges groups of people or when dealing with someone particulary negative.
I now know that in order to look after those around me, I must first protect myself. If you feel overwhelmed by feelings which may not even be your own, take a step back. You may need a little protecting yourself…